One of the most common and frustrating questions parents have is "How do I get my child to eat? They are so fussy." It is typical for a mom to cook dinner, place it on the table, and for children to appear, take one look, mumble something, or blatantly announce that "they don't like that, I'm not going to eat it!" They will then stubbornly sit through the meal, refusing to eat despite the dozen different tactics their parents try.
Parents are both creative and desperate in their attempts to get their children to eat. They have a running commentary, con their kids, bribe them with treats, try to physically feed them, sing, clap, dance, and when frustration sets in, out comes the guilt, threats, or emotional manipulation. Now, this is the parents, not the kids!
Well, the good news is that problems with food are almost never about food. The problem is about power. From the kids' view, they are in charge, not mom or dad. Just look at what a powerful position they are in and what mom and dad do when they refuse to eat... dancing, singing, bribery... a very powerful position and one they use to full advantage.
Clearly, mom is the only person with the knowledge and wisdom to decide what's for dinner and to be in charge. Mom has the knowledge and experience to know what healthy choices are for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Step 1 - In taking charge, make mom the boss and take control back from your child.
Step 2 - Let's get back to basics: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Focus on these.
Step 3 - When your child is successful with these meals, add in morning and afternoon
tea. Yes, they will be hungry. Hunger is your ally. Success is eating most of the meal.
Be sure to set a time limit - 30 minutes is reasonable. After that, dinner is finished and nothing, yes, absolutely nothing, until the next meal.
Your aim is for three meals successfully, including appropriate behavior, before you add in snacks. As a parent, you need to feel in control of the meal for it to be successful.
Nicole Pierotti
Originally Published: May 2, 2012
Last Edited: April 26, 2023
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